Friday, August 29, 2014

Things I Wish the President Would Do Just to See What Conservatives Would Do.


Since the election of President Barack Obama, we've been told to expect everything from having our guns seized to Fema Camps to Stock Market Crashes and making Conservatism illegal on the internet and so on... none of that crap has happened or even come close, but every time the President has a nice dinner with his wife, chooses one event over another, engages in any normal activity, or just acts human - the Conservatives I know have a fit like he has imposed martial law. Just for their reactions, part of me wished he would do the following:

1) Put himself on Mount Rushmore, but twice as big as the other presidents.

2) Rename every "Ronald Reagan Avenue" into "Cesar Chavez Avenue".

3) Do every press briefing in a grey hoodie.

4) Fly to the Border and personally adopt a refugee child for El Salvador. Name his "Marx Jihad Obama".

5) Hire Stephen Colbert as his press secretary.

6) Participate in a Civil War Re-Enactment. Choose to play "General Sherman" and re-enact the March to the Sea.

7) Find someone who posts they just know the president is going to take their guns. Wear a cat burglar outfit and break in to his house and actually steal every single gun that person owns. That way it would be true for at least one person.

8) Randomly cite the Koran in perfect Arabic. And the Communist Manifesto in the original German.

9) Detain the next White Supremacist / Sovereign Citizen found with a bunch of pipe bombs in Guantanamo Bay.

10) Go on an actual "turn off my cell phone and y'all don't know where I'm at" vacation. Biden can run things for a few days.

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