Monday, November 3, 2014

An open letter to all voters:

To my Democratic Friends:

Let's do this. Let's get every vote out there this election cycle. Pundits be damned, projections be damned, polls be damned, everything but the will of the voters can take a back seat. This is the final two days of the election. We've registered new voters, fought against sneaky ways to steal our votes, raised money, fought tremendous amounts of new "Dark Money" now that Citizens United has legalized bribery, we've set up tremendous Get-Out-The-Vote efforts with volunteers and hard work, let's put every thing we have to get to that goal line. Doesn't matter if there is rain, snow, corporate media lies, long poll lines, new obstacles or whatever that tries to get in our way. We fight on. We don't give up. We work DAMNED hard. Every vote deserves to be cast and counted. We're Democrats. Let's do this for "We the People".

To My Republican Friends:

We take to heart that we are a Republic, not a Democracy, and as such individual votes really don't matter. Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Forwarded Emails and Shared Posts on the Facebook inform us that there is just tremendous voter fraud out there so our votes don't matter anyways. Those are the most trusted news sources, so they wouldn't lie or exaggerate the problem no matter what those Liberals say. It's dangerous out there, our friends at the NRA and Fox tell us so. Ebola, ISIS, the Knockout Game, Al Qaeda, Rap Music, Gun Grabbers, Twerking, Benghazis, Crooked IRS Agents persecuting Conservatives, FEMA Coffins, Urban Thugs, Matrimonial Gays, Legal Stoners... It's too dangerous to go outside. Plus Obama is a "tyrant"! Do you think tyrants care about who we vote for? Let's keep our names off Obama's lists, let's not vote. Really it's Patriotic when you think about it... everyone gets one vote? That sounds like Socialism. Let's spend Election day the way we spend most days, sharing sort-of-racist pictures on the Facebook and being angry for no particular reason.

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