2025: Surviving My Chaos Year
Rolling Up the Sleeves as Therapy.
In my years on this Earth, some have been more chaotic than others. Some years have been spent in War, a couple in Pestilence. Outside of those, however, 2025 has been the most Chaotic year of my life. I have written about it before, but at the start of 2025 I was working for both Amazon and Intuit but resigned both in order to take a position in a Data Center with the Bureau of Fiscal Service It was the kind of role I was well prepared for and expected to stay in until my retirement. I was proud to take that Oath to Defend the Constitution for a fourth time in my life.
Then Chaos happened. Trump, Musk, Bessent, Vought. A rogue's gallery of villains walked away from their golf courses and companies and hedge funds and think tanks to come after my livelihood, my children's health insurance, and the institutions that have elevated this nation and the world over the last 80 years. I was out of a job in a way so sudden and so baseless that eventually courts found it illegal. In the meantime, I was hit hard. I have ALWAYS been able to provide for my family and keep them comfortable with hard work, brains and hustle but - by not being paranoid enough about the hateful chaos Trump would bring - I had 100% failed them.
For the first time since an unusually bad night in Iraq I felt genuinely worthless and wanted to just end.
I reached out to local media, regional media, national media. This was a violation of agreement of my employment (and thousands of others) and a failure to uphold one of the promises made to our Veterans (Civil Service Protections). I became better friends with union reps and reporters and journalists and local leaders. I spoke to some local politicians who wanted to speak to me and some politicians who VERY MUCH did not.
I dug in and started to come back. I reached out to former employers and associates. Glowing reviews, strong recommendations, I scored interviews and offers but first I felt the impacts of a second group of the Rouges of 2025.
Bezos, Musk, Ellison, Pichai, Zuckerberg...
Even as Tech companies saw ever higher profits and share prices, in a conspiracy in place since November of 2022 they had a coordinated an agreement to never again offer the growth and prosperity to their workforce they had previously offered as those folks built their companies. This was the "Years of Efficiency" phase and hiring freezes and mass layoffs even among more business was the new normal. They celebrated with their new evil god at the 2025 inauguration and dedicated their waking moments to carrying out their vision of ending the best things about this place called America.
A moment of Reprieve: The Federal Unions won a lawsuit/injunction against the illegally terminated workers and illegally dismantled departments. I was granted a brief respite and a dignified exit and then Trump - being a creature with a limitless need for vengeance - dismantled the Federal Unions that made him follow the law. The Supreme Court declared the Constitution is optional and that they will never be a speedbump against tyranny.
The Chaos hit the world. The force for good at home and abroad that American Institutions had been sputtered. We had taken them for granted. Planes crashed, food aid stopped, medicines stopped, disaster aid failed, problems like measles and Nazi youths our ancestors had fought to erase came back because they wanted them to come back. National Guard were deployed to American Cities, masked agents pulled people aside to demand "show us your papers", Major cuts to programs like Medicaid and Food Stamps came to be, unemployment hit the highest rate since the Pandemic, the Government shut down, senior military were dismissed, America made it clear that Russia could move on Ukraine and China could move on Taiwan without worrying about a strong and resolute America stopping them. We began to discuss annexing Canada and Greenland for some reason. We lost Americans to ISIS in Syria, Late Night comedians who mocked the President lost their television shows like in some kind of dystopian movie. It was chaos.
Trump and his goons attacked the V.A.
Trump and his goons attacked Unions.
Trump and his goons attacked NPR and PBS
Trump and his goons attack the Boy Scouts - it was inevitable.
That is a short incomplete list - let the historians document all of the destruction.
Every pillar of American goodness that was built up by decent and honorable people was seen as a threat to the evil cabal who needs to destroy everything they don't own. I mourned for my nation as I had never done so before. No disease or disaster or foreign enemy did this - WE DID THIS.
Four things kept me going:
Doing good where I could.
Being a better man for my family and myself.
Good people who helped.
Knowing I didn't have the option of quitting.
I had to cope and the best way to cope was to do what I could for myself and others where I could
I supported those who told the truth. PBS, NPR, Wired, 404Media, The Onion, The KC Star, the Pitch - I supported truth telling media like never before and withdrew my support for cowards who bent the knee to the mad evil king. CBS. Amazon. ABC (some reversal on the last one.)
I supported voter registrations and petitions (to save our Missouri right to ballot initiatives) and volunteered. I went to party meetings and candidate meetings and forums and the giant and wonderful NO KINGS rallies. People were waking up and taking back their power and it is a thing to behold.
I donated and volunteered as never before. Food Pantries and Toys for Tots and the International Red Cross had needs like never before as our Mad Evil Tyrant Class tore things apart. I volunteered with Scouts to help needs families and build community projects and I was a Scout parent at FOUR campouts this year which felt like alot (One was 10 days!). I donated blood when I could. Did charity events for diabetes charities with family. I donated things we no longer needed to others in the community. I learned alot from the Early Saturday Food Pantry Volunteer crowd. There is no therapy like helping people who need it.
I helped my older son and his wife with their new baby (I became a grandparent during the chaos year). They are good parents but certainly appreciated every bit of help we gave. Helping them with financial plans and living arrangement and work and fixing cars and such made me feel great. I also took my older son to see GWAR and other heavy metal bands at a show and he needed a break from the chaos.
I spent some good good quality time with my younger son in middle school. I was there to help with homework and his gifted program and followed up with all the teacher correspondence and meetings and programs and tried to be the kind of parent I had not always had the time to be. We got really into some hobbies this year with RC vehicles and some backyard projects. We played though some really fun video games over break. We visited the local Buffalo herd. We grew tomatoes and onions and raspberries and blueberries and blackberries and (unsuccessfully) potatoes and squash. He and his mother have fallen in love with their aquarium. I truly love the experience of being a father.
I finally installed some new cameras and projects on and around the house. We have BEAUTIFUL siding now that should last decades. Fixed many things in the home like switches and locks that I had been putting off.
I stopped the stress eating and lost 25lbs this year. I did a little better with regular exercise and much better with my diet. Set up a downstairs workout area that's easy to access and use. Saw my therapist regularly, did better with medications. I finished some education/certifications I had been putting off and took up reading for fun again. The last half of this year I made sure to read a worthwhile book each month. I went to MENSA book club meetings. I revisited my old journal and wrote in my blog.
I made it to multiple holiday events with my wonderful extended family. I helped my brother with his cancer treatments and other needs. I helped my niece with taxes and finances and friends with their band and team and scout fundraisers. I cooked an entire Thanksgiving Dinner for my immediate family and did a darn good job if I say so myself.
My family reached out after I had lost a job. My mother offered to help financially and while I insisted it HAD NOT come to that (I have a tendency to save and prepare) she insisted I let her help - if not me - my kids (especially the older ones who were in a bind with the new baby). My siblings offered to do what they could. Many of them are dealing with their mother struggling with an illness and gave me what emotional bandwidth they could. I'm blessed with people who care for and love me.
Friends I had worked with, gone to school with, grown up with, served in the Army with... MANY took time to reach out to me to see if I needed help or just to be a friend when I needed a friend. Even total strangers who had seen me on local media reached out to be helpful. Good people in this world outnumber the evil ones.
I saved money. We did not do a big travel this year. We did not buy any bigger screens or faster PCs. I put off upgrading my vehicle and turned a few wrenches to make the old truck run like it should. My wife - again despite assuring her I had saved and planned for this - doubled down at work and made sure she put her part of the finances in a better place that we were before. I truly love that woman and just as I had been her rock in times when she needed something strong and firm to hold onto when her world went mad... she was my rock in this time. I am lucky to have a woman like that in my life.
Despite the Cabal of Evil Tyrants doing everything in their power to kill my ability to provide for my family, I did not give up. Despite an extended Federal Hiring Freeze I did not give up. Despite a Kansas City Hiring Freeze I did not give up. I interviewed with Banks and Data Centers and Laboratories and Tax Firms and Tech Consultancies and and for maintenance roles at the airport and other positions big and small.
I was astounded at the state of job searching in 2025. For months I heard either "No" or the frequent hearing nothing at all. My cushion of months turned into weeks turned into days and then - all at once - I received several job offers in the same day and then a few more in the next weeks. It was not what I expected - to go from the problem of NO OPPORTUNITY to having to choose which would be best. I ended up returning to Treasury for a short while and then onto my new job back in IT/OpsTech with the U.S. Postal Service.
I took that oath to the constitution THREE TIMES this year.
I focused on investing as I had not in the past. I capitalized on successfully predicting that the Years of Chaos would equal a flight to precious metals. I took advantage of every account bonus or matching incentive I could and scrambled for every dollar. Focus groups and test marketing became my friend. It isn't a crime to hustle.
Somehow I am ending this year with a better job, better credentials, better health, more savings and less debt that I had going into it. It wasn't easy, I didn't do it alone and I caught some lucky breaks. It's not as good as it could have been if the forces of evil had slept - but I'm motivated.
In 2026 I'm going to continue to defend the life I've worked for, my community, my nation and the world from the evil tyrants at home and abroad. Delusions of godhood doesn't make the evil tyrant class any less flesh and blood that can be beaten. Good people outnumber evil people.
This post has been a catharsis to write. Blogging is dead (Can you believe I used to have thousands of readers?), I mostly write for myself because I need to get this out to make sense of it. Happy New Year!
